A Fantasy Author's Adventures in Fiction & Life

Category: Craft & Critical Readers (Page 2 of 2)

9 Tips For The First 5 Pages

Open old book
Photo by John-Mark Smith

Whether you intend to query, and have the first 5-10 pages by the hinge on which a manuscript request hangs, or to self publish and have them the sample chapter that persuades a reader to by; the first five pages carry a lot of weight. Yet as a critical reader, the main advice I’ve given is to delete or rewrite whole paragraphs of them. With so much to set up, it’s easy to focus on “have I covered this bit yet”? in chapter one, as opposed to, am I presenting my main character as relatable, or interesting and about to embark upon a journey on which the reader wishes to accompany them? And do I foreshadow intriguing story problems to come, without distancing my readers with chunks of telling, boring them with info dumps or confusing them with time jumps? To help you reflect upon and edit, or plan and write your opening pages in a clear and engaging way, I’ll unpack 9 reflective questions giving first five pages tips.

What do I Want the Reader to Know About my Setting?

Let’s orient the reader. Let’s show them that the main character is on another planet or it’s the year 1492. I’d try to get at least one clear thing about location and which point in time the story is taking place on the first page. I’d consider doing it while introducing the MC, by thinking about things such as: what technology is your MC using? What clothes are they wearing? If they’re traveling, what is transport like in your era/ world?

Eg. In my second trilogy, my main character has to go through a checkpoint in the stone walls of a city which, until that point, sounds like anywhere in the modern world. Until my MC gazes out the window at the massive, magically shielded fence lining a deserted highway, and expresses his hope to see the monsters it’s designed to keep off the road flying overhead. Having established that my contemporary-sounding novel actually takes place in a fantasy setting, my story moves on, elaborating on world specific details and history bit by bit, later on.

Where is the Best Location to Introduce My MC?

You’ll also want to consider: what’s most important for a reader to know about my main character at the outset? Which personal factors or relationships will impact on my character’s arc? Which factors in my world/ planet, country, government or society’s beliefs impact on my MC’s life or the lives of people they love? In other words, which location is most appropriate to show the deepest desires of my MC’s heart? To show their want or goal, the lie they believe and to hint at the truth and personal flaws they may address along the way? If your external conflict extends beyond your character, I’d consider where can I place my MC to show these things and show the external conflict?

As your MC moves through the opening scene, I’d slip in casual references to what they see, here and do to show your reader the time and place your character is living in.

What Do I Have My MC Do in the Opening Scene?

That depends on what you want to show about them and their world. For example, instead of explaining that Geoff works on a planet being mined for star fuel which powers the galactic empire’s space travel and is under constant threat of meteor strikes, you could have him stub his toe on a large rock, and comment, “Haven’t they finished clearing the meteor strike yet? If the empire doesn’t staff this mine properly soon, we’re going to get buried and they can kiss their precious star fuel goodbye.”

Whatever you have your MC doing -choose a location, action and or dialogue which shows the reader who and where they are. For example, I open my prologue with Prince Ruarnon strolling through the palace of his people’s long-time enemies. As heir to the throne, he wears a mask of calm, posing to enemy servants, officials and enemy guards he’s walking past as the grave-faced ruler he believes he needs to be. He conceals his inner tension -an act and a lie tested by his character arc. He walks, not with friends or family, but with adult body guards, showing that this teen moves in the adult world and struggles with the isolation of it.

What can I have my MC doing to show through their organic reactions in thought, feeling and behaviour, what guides their beliefs? And to foreshadow their role in my story’s external conflict?

Whatever you decide, try not to begin with logistics. If you start with an MC waking up, reader me would quickly lose interest, unless your character’s first move is to insert a re-charged power source into their arm, or let pet bats in to eat giant insects, which have swarmed around the inside ceiling overnight. Have your MC doing something interesting. If you open with them driving somewhere, have them sweating and cursing as they rehearse the conversation in which they will soon try to persuade their spouse to move somewhere the spouse hates, because your MC has a fantastic job opportunity there.

Start with character action or conversation hinting at underlying tensions (in personal relationships or the entire SFF world), or at something being wrong -hint at an interesting story to come.

What can I show through dialogue?

Who are the key people and what are the key relationships in your MC’s life? What is the nature of those relationships? Are they under strain/ impacted by past events or will they undergo change during the MC’s journey? If so, how can you use dialogue, gestures and other actions to indicate the current state of your MC’s key relationship/ relationships in an early scene? You might also like to consider how you can use dialogue to show what’s relatable to readers, or unique and interesting about your MC’s relationships. Is there tension, suspicion or lack of trust beneath the surface? Banter? Do your MC and their significant other anticipate each other’s thoughts and wishes?

What other details do I Want My Reader to Know?

Answers which may leap to mind include showing off the MC’s personality, indicating their background, life experience, education, knowledge and skills or prior learning which will help them tackle the story problem. But before you put ALL of this at once, consider: What is the minimum the reader needs to know at any one point for this scene to make sense?

If page one opens with your main character being yelled at by her office boss and thinking it’s time for a career change, do we need to know right then that she was raised by a single mother? If she meets her mother for coffee after work on page two, and this conversation is the inciting event which inspires her to turn a love of deep sea diving into a career assisting marine archaeologists -maybe. But, if any of the things you want to introduce aren’t relevant to what your MC sees, hears, thinks or feels about whatever they’re responding to in the present scene -now is not the time to mention other stuff -and a paragraph or more about other things is most likely an info dump.

How Much Info Do I Show At Once?

Ideally, as little as possible. Your character comments on a strange crack in the wall, which later turns out (like Dr Who series 6) to be a crack in the universe. Then the scene moves on. Your thieves gather after a heist, one comments that someone is missing, the others decide there’s no time to waste and get out of there. Only later do they learn of the missing member’s body being found and that they have rivals -probably the same people stalking them on their next heist.

Ice cavern in Iceland
An ice cavern in Iceland, 2016. If your MC is walking through here, give an impression of this space, but don’t try to cram the MC’s backstory or the history of the city in the heart of the ice cavern by the time your MC has walked to the far end of this space.

Each time you introduce a little piece of world building via dialogue or what your character observes in the present scene, I would move your character further into the scene or through a location. Have them take in scenery or do the next action, before slipping another piece of world building or backstory in.

Give your reader time to ingest new information.

This is especially true for bringing new characters onto the scene. If possible, stagger their arrivals. Give time and show a unique thing or two the reader can remember them by before bringing the next character/ pairing etc on stage. And don’t have multiple character names starting with the same letter, or similar sounding names- that’s highly likely to position readers to confuse characters.

What does the Reader Need to Know about Backstory?

There’s a reason this question isn’t, “what do I want the reader to know?” The answer could be “all of it” and the likely result is info-dumping -slabs of telling which become disembodied from the main character and disconnected from the present scene. That makes it very hard for a reader to get into your story or know what’s going on, let alone want to keep reading. So, I would ask, what must my reader know about my character’s past to understand my character’s actions in the present scene?

The question I asked to write my first prologue was, “how do I give the reader an idea of the state of affairs between the empire and the small kingdom it has always wanted to conquer, but never been able to hold?” I did it by getting my MC to wander through the enemy palace on a diplomatic visit. Ruarnon’s thoughts and their reactions to the presence of their long-time enemies standing all around them tell the reader a lot about how Ruarnon feels about their enemies, and gives present story context for snippets of backstory. I hope its just enough for the reader to understand the present state of uneasy peace my story begins with. Then an assassin tries to kill my MC, and my book continues to reveal more about past conflict in the context of my MC grappling with signs war will break out again -soon.

As your opening scene unfolds, continue asking: how does what my MC is seeing, doing and thinking relate to backstory?

Is it essential to the reader understanding that I tie in backstory every time it relates to my character’s thoughts? Which bits of backstory can wait until the reader is better oriented in the present story?

How often across the first 5 pages (and whole first chapter) have I slipped in references to backstory? Is there too much information across those pages for a reader to easily take in information AND follow present events?

Is the backstory ‘backstory’ -or does my present story start in the wrong place?

If the narration of your first chapter wanders back to specific past events the reader needs to know about -and narrates these in past tense- you risk confusing the reader with a past and a present story, neither of which they can properly grasp. You also risk the reader getting bored with what reads as an interruption to the present story and so skipping over the backstory. (Because if the backstory mattered, surely it would be the present scene? As a reader, I find a past event narrated in past tense has no immediacy or tension, so to be blunt, I have no interest in persevering with reading about it.

If you keep writing full paragraphs about a key event prior to the current story -that prior event might need to be your opening scene, narrated as the present story, so it neither bores, nor confuses the reader as they try to get orientated in the present story.

Are Your Characters Moving in the First Five Pages?

Elise and a friend running through snow past pines in Canada.
A memorable run in Canada 2015. There’s no movement quite like sprinting on snow ?

If your character is on the move, going somewhere and doing something, that gives the feel that your story is also going somewhere. Slip some clues in that something isn’t quite right, hinting at tension and or conflict to come, and you have an engaging first five pages. Having everyone sitting around talking may make the reader may wonder where the story is going and if it is in fact going somewhere.

It’s hard to show a character has agency if they’re sitting and chatting with friends in scene one. The first five pages need to prove your MC is an active character, who’s going to do interesting things a reader wants to read about. ‘Active’ doesn’t have to mean taking control of their life or achieving milestones -that might not be possible for them at present. If it isn’t possible, I’d show your MC’s aspirations and small steps your MC can and is taking to meet those aspirations.

Exceptions

One of my novels has my MC sit at a table with his mother and father on page 3. Mum has baked a cake to celebrate my 15 yo MC’s achievements and is trying to play proud mum (if not happy wife.) Dad is being rude, ungrateful, self-centred and domineering, while my MC’s internal monologue about his father is overtly aggressive and he’s sitting with fists clenched under the table. The characters are still because stillness amplifies the tension of the family dynamics and my MC’s inner tension.

So consider, is having my characters remain stationary at any point in the first five pages a necessary or effective way to show something about my MC, their relationships, world etc? If you don’t have a particular reason for keeping your characters immobile early on -get them moving!

Recap

Orient the reader in space and time.

Consider: Where can I place my main character and what can I have them doing to show, through their organic reactions in thought, feeling and behaviour, what guides their beliefs and thinking?

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How can I foreshadow their role in my story’s external conflict?

1. Start with character action or conversation hinting at underlying tensions (in personal relationships or the entire SFF world), or at something being wrong -hint at an interesting story to come.

2. Introduce world building and backstory in small snippets, with character movement or action in between, to give the reader time to digest information about your story and character’s world.

3. Consider: what must my reader know about my character’s past to understand my character’s actions in the present scene?

4. Make sure narration focuses on the present scene, with no more than a sentence or two of backstory or world building, to let the reader get oriented in the present story.

To get help your critical readers comment on how effectively you’ve done all of the above, see my Chapter 1 and Act 1 (links to Act 2 & 3) Critical Reader Checklists.

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Critical Reader Checklist: Chapter 1

Mixed race woman with curly black hair wearing a black brimmed hate, and reading cross legged on a sofa before a bookshelf.
Photo by Seven Shooter

Critique partner and beta reader feedback can be gold, but as editing is a complex task, it can be difficult to decide what exactly you’d like critical readers to comment on, especially in the crucial first chapter. The reflective questions in this beta reader checklist will help guide critical reader feedback (and in some cases self-editing), giving you insight into how engaging, well paced and easy or difficult to follow unfamiliar readers found your opening chapter.

Does the story start in the right place?

Chronology

Does ‘chapter one’ narrate whole paragraphs or more of events which happened before chapter 1 began? (If the reader really needs to know such events, those events might need to become chapter 1).            

Narration

Does chapter one begin with the present story, or with info dumping or backstory? Or does it slowly show the reader the character’s life, with chapters and chapters of narration before the inciting event indicates the character’s life is about to change and the story actually moves forwards? (If it takes ten chapters to reach the inciting event, I suspect the story starts six to nine chapters earlier than necessary).      

Character Action

Is the main character (or chapter one’s point of view character) doing something interesting to read on page 1? (Or lead up actions like a long, dull drive, instead of opening with characters reacting to their destination as they climb out of the car on arrival?)

What is your impression of the MC? -this can help a writer check that they have portrayed their MC consistently throughout the novel, and that they haven’t over or underdone their MC’s nature/ situation etc in the opening chapters.

Can You Get to Know and Care About Characters?             

Main Character

Does the main character’s dialogue and actions give you a good sense of who the MC is and what they’re about? Can you relate to the MC or their personal situation/ relationships in some way?

Supporting Characters 

Are there too many named characters for you to keep track of?

Or are any character names too similar to each other to easily tell apart?

All Characters

Can you spot any discrepancies in character actions or dialogue?

Do you understand the characters actions, and can you follow the character’s logic -or do character actions confuse you or seem implausible?

Do you get bored or does your interest wane at any point? (How do you find the pace?)

Letting a writer know you’ve lost interest at a certain point in a chapter and want to start skimming is helpful -because it suggests a problem with pacing. If you can give feedback about why you think you started to lose interest -that’s even more helpful. It might be because; you feel the narration is getting bogged down with details or descriptions which slow the story. Or because there’s info dumping or chunks of telling which isn’t part of dialogue, character internal monologue or reaction to the present scene, ie. without context, possibly pulling you out of the story.

Backstory

Are you catching neat little peeks of what’s already happened in characters’ lives or the world in general as the character interacts with other characters and their world? Or does a character stand still so the writer can tell you five paragraphs about an event they’ve already experienced (but you missed)?

World Building/ Scene Setting 

Have you got a clear enough sense of where and when the story is taking place?

Do you have a sense of character roles within their world? Of their jobs, status, what they can and can’t do? (For SFF this will go right into how clearly magic systems, alternate political systems, tech etc are shown).

Is it clear to you what is magically/ politically/ scientifically/ militarily etc possible and likely within the story?

Information -Showing V.S. Telling

Where possible, do you get to ‘see’ things by what the character sees, hears, says, smells, thinks and how they physically, verbally or emotionally react to their world and story? Or does the writer tell you, ‘the city has x and that character felt impatient because he had a headache.’

(NB. Bear in mind that the point of ‘showing’ is to make the story more interesting to readers and it isn’t practical to ‘show’ everything. Eg. Things like creation myths may need to be told.)

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Beta Readers & Critique Partners

White woman on sand dunes raising hand to her eye to see better, across yellow dunes to the horizon, with a light blue, cloudy sky background.
Photo by Katerina Kerdi 

You’ve written your novel. You’ve revised and edited it multiple times. Now you know it so well that you can’t see the forest for the trees. You need critical reader feedback. Ideally it’ll be from observant beta readers and critique partners with different strengths to you. And help hone your craft, while readying your novel for querying or self publishing. So where can you find effective critical readers? And do you need a sensitivity reader or an editor? Once you’ve had feedback and used it to edit your novel, how will you know when you’ve finished editing?

Five Free Feedback Options

1 Scribophile

My search for critical readers began with Scribophile. This is an online community where writers earn karma points for critiquing each other’s chapters and where gaining enough points lets you post your own chapter for feedback. The free version involves posting one chapter at a time, so its a good space to seek line edit or within-chapter feedback.

However, if you work at a different pace to other writers, you may critique their chapter 1, then find their chapter 4 is ready (my experience). As a reader, you can end up reading single chapters many novels, without reading whole stories. As a writer, it can be difficult to get feedback on plot and character development across chapters and feedback from the same readers on multiple chapters. I received some good feedback on Scribophile, but there were issues across my opening chapters its readers didn’t get the chance to spot. So if you’re seeking feedback on plot and character arcs, you may need a paid membership for autonomy over who reads your chapters and when.

2. Critique Circle is similar, but I haven’t tried it, so I can’t say how it compares.

3. Social Media Writing Communities

If you don’t have writer contacts, its well worth joining Instagram’s or Blue Sky’s writing community. (For advice on getting started, see this post.) Whether you’ve made writer friends, or are new to social media, you can post asking who’s willing to trade feedback (or just asking for beta readers, but you’re more likely to get a critical reader if you’re willing to be one).

I’d share a brief blurb of your work (use a paragraph long pitch for Insta or as a graphic on Blue Sky, if you’ve written one). I’d also mention if you’re willing to trade just opening chapters, even if you’d ideally like feedback on the whole novel.

My last round of chapter swaps was going to be opening chapters only, but it became the opening third of the novel, so you never know. I’d also mention any genres you prefer to read or prefer your critique partner to write. You’ll need relevant hashtags on Insta/ keywords like ‘writers’/ #WritingCommunity on Blue Sky.

On Instagram

The most popular tags are #Beta Reader and #BetaReaders, but you’ll find some posts on #CritiquePartner and #CritiquePartners. Again, I suggest posting about finding critical readers AND searching the above tags on Insta to see posts seeking critique partners and replying to them.

Two of my critique partners from Twitter edited much faster than I did, so we only traded the first 6 and 9 chapters respectively. But the feedback they gave was useful in addressing issues with character logic and pacing beyond my chapters they read. One beta reader read up to halfway through my Act 2, while the third critique partner (a twitter friend) and I critiqued each other’s whole novel. Depending on many circumstances, a critique partner or beta reader may not make it to the end of your novel, but they’re my favourite way to get feedback on all aspects of it.

3. Facebook Groups

There are a LOT of critical reader groups on Facebook. This one is for finding Fantasy Beta and ARC readers (the latter providing reviews of the finished draft before the book is released). Before deleting my Facebook account I was a member of it and I saw writers posting and getting a few offers to read. I suggest searching your genre and ‘critical readers’ on Facebook, to find a relevant group for your writing. You may like to search your sub-genre and ‘critical readers’ too, as there are several sub-genre critical reader groups for romance, and there may be for other genres.

4. Discord

To find Discord group descriptions and invitations, type ‘Discord’ and ‘#WritingCommunity’ into the social media of your choice’s search bar. Or post to your ask followers if they can recommend one. My Authors and Writers Discord has a channel for seeking beta reader, query, blurb etc feedback. Here’s an invite to it.

Further Reading

For more options to find critical readers and advice on working with them, see @LombardEmma‘s Finding & Using Beta Readers.  

For specific questions to guide critical reader feedback (or to guide your feedback as a critical reader), see my Chapter One Checklist and Act 1 Checklist.

A Mentoring Program to Apply For

If you’ve had feedback from critical readers, but would like more, from more experienced writers than yourself, there are mentoring programs. You’d need to work in close partnership, and be lucky, as there are many writers seeking mentors Revpit. Revpit is Revision & Editor Mentoring for MG, YA & Adult Fiction. For more details, visit the Revpit Website.

Paid Editing Feedback

Hand writing in notebook on table with computer, tablet, coffee and glasses around it.
Photo by Thought Catalog

Sensitivity Readers

If your wip features point of view characters from marginalised groups to which you do not belong and or touches on issues affecting those groups, it may be appropriate for you to hire a sensitivity reader. Ideally, you have done your homework on the marginalised group(s) in question, but a sensitivity reader may pick up on issues neither your lived experience nor Google can tell you. If you’d like to know more about sensitivity readers and whether or not you may need to hire one, this article may help.

Am I Finished? & Do I Need an Editor?

Woman typing on computer
Photo by Andrew Neel

Identifying when you have finished editing can be a huge challenge, especially with a first novel. Despite how helpful my Ink & Insights comments and feedback from four critical readers were, my revisions only targeted the symptoms of some underlying problems. I sent my novel to another beta reader and edited again, but my final solutions to story tension and fully developing point of view characters came from my editor Amelia Wiens. After two manuscript critiques with her, I am finally confident I’m ready to query.

Deciding whether hiring an editor is worth your while depends on your personal circumstances and goals. In my case, I could afford a developmental edit. I saw it as a personal crash course in developing characters and story tension. And I learned lessons I can apply to all future novels from it. So for me, it was worth the money.

As there’s only so much time and energy unpaid beta readers and critique partners can put into feedback, if your plot, characters or story structure may be lacking, a manuscript critique/ structural report may be a good fix.

Considering Hiring an Editor?

Get a sample edit! Check if they understand what you’re trying to do with your novel. See if there’s indications that working with them will be a valuable learning experience, as well as making your novel a more engaging read.

Self Publishing your First Book?

If you’re on a tight budget, here’s some well reasoned advice by editor Derek Murphy on why hiring an editor may not be the best idea. (He describes his services in this post, but he does so in the context of giving ball park figures for developmental and copy editing and proof reading costs.)

Editor Resources

For Definitions of developmental & Copy Editing and Proof Reading Services, with clear examples and advice on which order its best to use these services in, see Hiring an Editor, Should I Spend the Money? by Maryleee MacDonald.

5 Things Author’s Need To Know Before Hiring an editor (an interview with editor Staci Frenes by Mixtus Media) is also a good read. It details the benefits of hiring an editor and giving advice on finding a professional, reliable editor who’s likely to be a good fit for your book.

Tips to Tell if Your Editing is Finished

Have you rectified issues which could get you rejected by a literary agent?

Even if you intend to self publish, looking at resources where literary agents state reasons they tend to pass on submissions can improve the quality of your work. In this video 7 agents give 3 reasons for rejecting an MS. While in this one Meg Latore talks about why literary agents may reject the first five pages. Both videos can act as partial “have I finished editing yet?” checklists.

A Final Test of Editing Being Finished

Can you pitch your novel? Can you, in Query Sharks ‘sweet spot’ of 250-350 words;
Introduce your Main Character (+ their want/ goal if you like)
Introduce their inciting event, the central conflict & stakes
Mention a major complication to MC ability to resolve conflict, including increased stakes (if applicable)
Mention character growth that must occur for the MC to resolve the conflict and avoid the stakes/ the impossible choice the MC must make?

When I pitched in my first two Pitmad’s, I had trouble defining my MC’s goal and character growth they needed to undertake to reconcile the external conflict. There were still gaps and ambiguity in my main character’s arc (the one’s my editor later helped with).

Everyone finds writing a pitch difficult. It takes ages. But if, after reading pitch crafting advice like the articles I’ve linked here and receiving feedback, you still struggle to nail any pitch ingredients, there may be a hole in your character or external plot arc. In that case, I suggest using resources on plot and character development like, like my post on developing characters.

Whichever stage of the editing process you’re at -good luck!

Further Reading (Resources Linked Above)

Critical Reader Sites

Scribophile & Critique Circle

Fantasy Arc & Beta Readers FB Group

Critical Reader Resources

My Chapter One Checklist and Act 1 Checklist (which links to Act 2 and 3 lists) of questions to help guide critical reader feedback.

12 Critical Reader Partnership Tips

Editing Resources

Do I Need A Sensitivity Reader?

Do you really need a book editor by editor Derek Murphy.

Hiring an Editor, Should I Spend the Money? by Maryleee MacDonald.

5 Things Author’s Need To Know Before Hiring an editor (an interview with editor Staci Frenes by Mixtus Media)

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